Space: the final frontier… these are the voyages of… a walrus?
Meet Walter. He is the first walrus in a revolutionary space program. Someday, his blubbery form will float past asteroids, stars, and planets as he journeys through the dark beyond to become a Master of Space. But for now, Walter’s dream is to win the heart of his lifelong love, Dr. Stephanie, who happens to be the scientist assigned to conduct experiments on him. The problem is Dr. Stephanie does not love Walter. She views him as a test subject and nothing more. To make matters worse, Dr. Stephanie appears to be in love with the abusive head scientist, Dr. Ron.
From Wonderland Book Award winner Kevin L. Donihe comes a tragic comedy of unrequited love and inspired determination.
Happy Valentine’s Day Bizarro Fiction fans! We love you! We love you so much we want to be inside your kindle. Caressing it. Stimulating the pixels on your e-ink displays. Which is why from now until February 20th, you can get the Kindle edition of the following NINE books for just 99 cents each or FREE if you purchase or have already purchased the paperback edition. Spread the love!
Shark women, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases.
Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications. There’s an STD that changes your hair color, an STD that causes your toes to grow larger, one causes you to grow extra breasts on your body, another causes your skin to grow long metal spikes, and there’s an especially annoying STD that causes you to ejaculate miniature eyeballs.
Tonight is Share Your STD Night at the Demon Seed Swingers Club. Although most members of society fear the idea of contracting these diseases, there are some underground deviants who embrace them. They believe the diseases make them strange, unique, and beautiful. So they come together once a month to trade their wonderful STDs with each other in a surreal, fantastical orgy. However, tonight will not be like other nights. There’s a new disease spreading through the sex club, a disease that causes people to become rabid bloodthirsty killing machines. As the infected rampage through the Demon Seed, the survivors realize there’s only one thing they can do to survive the night: turn their grotesque STDs into deadly super weapons.
Also featuring the short stories:
Candy-Coated – A buff dude with a lollipop for a head has a hard time picking up the laydaaays due to all of the bearded truckers who keep trying to lick his head.
Ear Cat – A Kitty of the Month Club selection gone horribly wrong.
City Hobgoblins – A member of a punk rock band falls in love with a shark-like creature. (a prequel to the cult novel Satan Burger)
Porno in August – A group of porn actors find themselves floating in the middle of the ocean, unable to remember who they are or why they are there. (Chosen for The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror)
“Like William S. Burroughs on crack!” – Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling author
The bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other.
In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking animals struggle for survival against the freakish whims of nature. A typewriter made of fetuses is the source of woe for an expecting couple. A girl with a glass jaw hides an otherworldly secret. A demonic loner goes to a birthday party in Hell. You’ll encounter a killer in a marsupial mask, a prison for anorexics, haunted pancakes, and a songwriter with a cult following.
Surreal prose poems give way to personal accounts of alienation and modern love. Vegetarian narwhals are sold at the supermarket. And in a city that might be your own, zombie doughnuts are rising up. Kill yourself before they kill you. Or just kill yourself.
Featuring original illustrations in the style of Daniel Johnston, Die You Doughnut Bastards is the latest way to drown, brought to you by Wonderland Book Award-winning author Cameron Pierce.
“One part Doctor Who, one part Hustler Magazine, and the most fun you’ll have reading cosmic smut.”
– Jeff Burk, author of Shatnerquake
“A wonderfully ridiculous book . . . delivers imagination balanced by genuinely caring and adept writing.”
– Kris Saknussemm, author of The Humble Assessment
The Time Pimp has been saving the galaxy by getting history’s most important figures laid. From Caligula to Teddy Roosevelt, the Time Pimp has rolled up to the scene in his interstellar purple Cadillac and got them some ass. But a new power threatens the future of the Time Pimp – The Morality Front, a prudish force hell-bent on imposing its values on the galaxy. With the aid of the Death Pimp they will stop at nothing to end Free Love across time and space.
But the Time Pimp ain’t taking no shit from these jive-ass turkeys!
Basal Ganglia casts an unsettling spell, but one that in its aphoristic intensity and lightning-flash insights into human loneliness and connection, achieves a genuine empathic wisdom.” – SERGIO DE LA PAVA, author of A Naked Singularity
“Matthew Revert is one of the visionaries. What else can you say?” – SCOTT MCCLANAHAN, author of Hill William and Crapalachia
As teenagers, two lovers, Rollo and Ingrid, escape the world as it is known to live underground in a sprawling pillow fort that mirrors the structure of the human brain. Construction of the fort takes 25 years and once complete, their life exists to honor the fort in all it requires. Basal Ganglia begins countless years after they have become enslaved to the fort process. Rollo and Ingrid have lost any connection to their pasts and each other. Nothing exists beyond the patterns required by the fort. In an effort to become more than stasis, Ingrid expresses her desire to have a baby. Not wanting to subject another human to their strange world, she decides she will knit the baby using materials Rollo gathers from the fort. The emergence of this baby leads to paranoia between Rollo and Ingrid with both believing the other means the child harm. Within the confines of their cloistered world, the two engage in psychological warfare, desperately searching for a conclusion they don’t understand. As a result, they will find connection with their past, each other and the true nature of their identities.
Nina Gilten works in the fashion industry. She retouches images for Redbook, Teen Vogue, Chic, Marie Claire, and Nylon. Her work involves shaving off hipbones, masking moles, and giving more sheen to the lusterless skin of supermodels. In other words, she makes people beautiful. But when a vengeful houseguest forwards Nina’s private correspondence with her boss to popular feminist blog Jezebel, Nina finds herself jobless and ostracized.
Then rabid obese people start rampaging on the streets of New York.
Thrown together with her ex-boyfriend Chris and his fiancé, the gorgeous Molly Sweet, Ferdinand (a male model with a fat fetish), Chantal (also a model), and Dora (the vengeful houseguest who destroyed her career), Nina must fend for her life in a world where the people she hates most are now trying to eat her.
Lazy Fascist Press is proud to present The Obese, a bloody satire about body image and America’s obesity epidemic, written by Shirley Jackson Award-winner Nick Antosca.
“Scott McClanahan is a powerful, exceptional writer, and the overall effect of reading his deceptively simple stories is like getting hit in the head by a champion cage fighter cranked up on meth that was cooked in a trailer without running water in some Kentucky backwoods where people sing murder ballads to their children to put them to sleep.”
-DONALD RAY POLLOCK, author of The Devil All the Time
“He might be one of the great southern storytellers of our time.”
-VOL. 1 BROOKLYN
“When I discovered the stories of Scott McClanahan last year, I was instantly enthralled with his natural storytelling voice and freaky funny tales. There’s no pretense to Scott’s work. It’s like you’re just dropped right into the middle of these fantastic and true stories. It’s like a sweet blend of my favorite southern writers, Larry Brown and Harry Crews. Reading McClanahan is like listening to a good friend telling you his best real-life stories on your back porch on a humid night. And you both got a nice whiskey buzz going.”
-KEVIN SAMPSELL, author of A Common Pornography
“McClanahan’s prose is unfettered and kinetic and his stories seem like a hyper-modern iteration of local color fiction. His delivery is guileless and his morality ambivalent and you get the sense, while reading him, that he is sitting next to you on a barstool, eating peanuts and drinking a beer, and intermittently getting up to pick a song on the jukebox.”
“Reads like Bukowski with more surprises.”
“Think you’re hardcore? Think again. If you’ve handled everything Edward Lee, Wrath James White, and Bryan Smith have thrown at you, then put on your rubber parka, spread some plastic across the floor, and get ready for Ryan Harding, the unsung master of hardcore horror. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Harding’s work is like an acid bath, and pain has never been so sweet.” – Brian Keene
“Enjoy the tour, friends. Enjoy the gang-bang. You may need psych drugs afterwards, you may need an air-sick bag and a steam shower, but I feel confident that you will be provocatively moved by this book.” – Edward Lee, from his introduction
Genital Grinder collects the most sought after and most extreme fiction from the diamond in the puke – Ryan Harding.
“Violent, erotic, blasphemous, and extreme.” -Fear Zone
“Without apologies, White tears through your emotions, from sympathy to hate, humor to shock…” -Horror Web
From a world-ending orgy to home liposuction. From the hidden desires of politicians to a woman with a fetish for lions. This is a place where necrophilia, self-mutilation, and murder are all roads to love.
Like Porno for Psychos collects the most extreme erotic horror from the celebrated hardcore horror master. Wrath James White is your guide through sex, death, and the darkest desires of the heart.
Something very strange is happening in LeHorn’s Hollow…
Eerie, piping music is heard late at night, and mysterious fires have been spotted deep in the woods. Women are vanishing without a trace overnight, leaving behind husbands and families.
When up-and-coming novelist Adam Senft stumbles upon an unearthly scene, it plunges him and the entire town into an ancient nightmare. Folks say the woods in LeHorn’s Hollow are haunted, but what waits there is far worse than any ghost. It has been summoned…and now it demands to be satisfied.