INDEPENDENT PUBLISHER OF BIZARRO FICTION SINCE 1999

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New Release: NOT SAFE FOR KIDS by Kevin Shamel and Jim Agpalza

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Now Available from Spunk Goblin Press (our imprint of children’s books for adults) comes this darkly comical book of stories you WISH you could tell your children.
NOT SAFE FOR KIDS by Kevin Shamel and illustrated by Jim Agpalza.

WARNING: THIS BOOK IS GUARANTEED TO EMOTIONALLY FUCK UP YOUR KIDS
Ah, children. They are obnoxious little question machines. And they won’t shut up until you’ve given them a response. Dumb jerks. This book addresses all the cold, hard answers to all those stupid, stupid questions like:
Does your poop smell bad? That means you’re dying.
How do little rocks turn into big ones? They eat people.
Did you know you can breathe underwater? It’s true. Your body doesn’t like it at first, but you totally can.
Did you know that holding babies makes you run faster? Try it and see!
Wouldn’t it be cool if you could go back in time and fight dinosaurs for control of the moon? No it wouldn’t be. You’d totally die.
So sit down and layer on the emotional scarring with this read-aloud picture book you WISH you could share with children. A hilarious read that is NOT SAFE FOR KIDS.

Eraserhead Press Announces Open Call For Submissions

For the first time in a decade, Eraserhead Press is opening to unsolicited submissions to our main line! The 2016 reading period runs from June 15-July 15th.

From the submissions page:

Eraserhead Press is seeking novellas and novels of 20,000 to 100,000 words in length that fit into the Bizarro Fiction category. We want exciting, well-crafted weird stories with compelling plots, eccentric characters and never-before-seen concepts. The best way to understand what we are looking for is to familiarize yourself with our catalog. We’re most drawn to darkly absurd tales that are fun and addictive to read, yet still contain a strong emotional core. If you feel you’ve written something completely unique that stands apart from everything else being published today, then we want to see it.

Email your submission to eraserheadsubmissions@gmail.com. Include with your manuscript an author bio, a 3-5 sentence pitch of your book, and a one-page synopsis. Your manuscript should be well edited and free of grammatical errors. Failure to follow these guidelines may result in automatic rejection. Multiple submissions okay. No simultaneous submissions.  We are not accepting short story collections, poetry or non-fiction at this time.

Author royalty 50% of profit.
Eraserhead Press is interested in English language ebook and paperback rights. All other rights (e.g. audiobook, film, hardcover) are retained by the author.

DRUNK DRIVING CHAMPION new novel by Eric Hendrixson

Happy Springtime Bizarros! Eraserhead Press has some awesome new releases headed your way. The first is a  book that’s been in the works for a few years and has been having a lot of buzz building around it for its dark humor. DRUNK DRIVING CHAMPION by Eric Hendrixson.

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Available on Amazon.com paperback and kindle

“Outlandish fun. A descendant of “Cannonball Run” and “It’s a Mad Mad Mad World” with every bit of the manic exuberance.” -GARRETT COOK, Wonderland Book Award winning author of “Time Pimp”

When a hundred drunk drivers line up for a cross-country competition, it will be a race you won’t forget and they won’t remember.

The best drunk drivers in the nation have gathered at the U.S. Capitol for a race to the Pacific Ocean. They have talent. They have ambition. They have breathalyzers in their cars that will shut off the engine if the driver’s blood alcohol content drops below .16. The flag drops at the height of rush hour.

After a fifty-car pileup at the starting line and dozens of major accidents on the streets of D.C., only six cars make it out of the city. Second-string stockcar drivers, German Kung Fu masters, forgotten Soviet sleeper agents, frat boys, an unemployed sommelier, and a washed-up 80s pop star battle it out in this grueling, action-packed race. Facing overwhelming obstacles and outrageous intoxication, the racers battle the police, AA sponsors, each other, and themselves for the grand prize of one million dollars and a free liver transplant.

From the most sardonic voice in modern fiction comes a debaucherous action-comedy in the form of a bizarro “Cannonball Run.”

 

Where To Find Bizarro Fiction In Los Angeles This Weekend

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Bizarro Fiction writers invade Los Angeles for AWP 2016 and Days of the Dead Convention Thursday, March 31st – Sunday April 3rd!

Who:

David Agranoff, Laura Lee Bahr, Leza Cantoral, Brian Allen Carr, Autumn Christian, Noah Cicero, Rios De La Luz,  Juliet Escoria, Constance Ann Fitzgerald, Cody Goodfellow, Gabino Iglesias, M.P. Johnson, Michael Kazepis, Sean Kilpatrick, Andrea Kneeland, Marc Levinthal, Ross E. Lockhart, Kevin Maloney, Scott McClanahan, J. David Osborne, Christoph Paul, Cameron Pierce, Tiffany Scandal, Michael Seidlinger, John Skipp, Danger Slater, Bix Skahill, Anthony Trevino, Grant Wamack

Where:

AWP Conference & Book Fair, Los Angeles Convention Center, Booth #431
We have your essential weird fiction pop-up store set up at Booth #431 in the exhibit hall at AWP. You can find titles from Eraserhead Press, Lazy Fascist Press, Fungasm Press, Word Horde, Broken River Books, Lady Box Books, and King Shot Press! Come visit us for personalized recommendations and find out what’s new and what’s hot.

There are TONS of FREE offsite events associated with AWP. Here’s just a few where you will find your bizarro friends:
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  • Days of the Dead Convention, Los Angeles Burbank Hotel
    Friday night Splatterpunk legend John Skipp (The Light at the End, Tales of Halloween) moderates this wild discussion DAYS OF THE DEAD: Los Angeles 2016 with some of its finest new writers, showing how Bizarro differs from more traditional horror, science fiction, fantasy, and mainstream tales.Featuring authors:
    Danger Slater (I Will Rot Without You)
    Laura Lee Bahr (Haunt & Long-Form Religious Porn)
    Cody Goodfellow (All-Monster Action)
    Autumn Christian (Ecstatic Inferno)
    MP Johnson (Dungeons & Drag Queens)
    And books will be for sale all weekend at our table in the vendor room!

Dark-Delicacies

  • Mass Autograph Signing at Dark Delicacies Bookstore in Burbank, CA
    The weekend will culminate in a giant bizarro bonanza at the coolest bookshop in Burbank on Sunday. If you do one this this weekend, this should be it!Featuring authors:
    JOHN SKIPP (The Art of Horrible People)
    LAURA LEE BAHR (Long-Form Religious Porn)
    DANGER SLATER (I Will Rot Without You)
    AUTUMN CHRISTIAN (Ecstatic Inferno )
    CODY GOODFELLOW (The Last Goddam Hollywood Movie)
    MP JOHNSON (Dungeons and Drag Queens)
    J DAVID OSBORNE (Low Down Death Right Easy)
    RIOS DE LA LUZ (The Pulse between Dimensions and the Desert)
    TIFFANY SCANDAL (Jigsaw Youth)
    MICHAEL KAZEPIS (Long Lost Dog of It)
    MARC LEVINTHAL (The Emerald Burrito of Oz)
    DAVID AGRANOFF (Amazing Punk Stories)
    ROSS E. LOCKHART (anthology wizard)
    GABINO IGLESIAS (Zero Saints)
    CHRISTOPH PAUL (Slasher Camp for Nerd Dorks)
    LEZA CANTORAL (Planet Mermaid)
    CONSTANCE ANN FITZGERALD (Trashland A Go-Go)
    GRANT WAMACK (A Lightbulb’s Lament )
    BIX SKAHILL (Babes in Gangland )
    ANTHONY TREVINO (King Space Void)

12 Reasons I Love Being a Book Publisher

407137_348014485226331_404612329_nSometimes it’s important to reflect on why we do what we do. Today, I thought I’d share with you some of the reasons I love book publishing.
by Rose O’Keefe, owner of Eraserhead Press and imprints Deadite Press, Lazy Fascist Press, Fungasm Press, Spunk Goblin Press, The New Bizarro Author Series and the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. An independent publishing company since 1999. 

  1. I love books and love sharing stories with people.
    • My passion for books is lifelong. I love reading them, I love creating them, I love owning them and I love sharing them. A good story can transport you, transform you, and teach you about life, yourself and other people.
  2. I love creating an entertaining experience for people.
    • Whether it be the experience of reading a great story or attending a fun party. I love thinking about the type of experience I want people to have when they first discover one of our books or interact with us online or in person.
  3. I love bringing people together to share their talents and create cool things.
    • From writers to artists to editors to designers to booksellers, so much talent is involved in the creation and release of a book. I delight in coordinating projects and bringing together talented individuals to create something greater than the sum of its parts.
  4. I love encouraging people to read and talking to them about books.
    • See also #1. Reading is sexy. Enough said.
  5. I love interacting with artistic, creative, passionate people.
    • This has been my life goal since I was a little kid. I didn’t care what I did, as long as it involved lots of people with creative passion.
  6. I love doing something that challenges my intellect and emotions and allows me to experience the feeling that I am contributing to something greater than myself.
    • Owning a business, being a community leader, teaching, creating events and works of art challenge me fully in all the best ways. I am grateful every day for the challenges that offer opportunities for my personal growth and experience of life.
  7. I love injecting some surprise and fun into people’s lives.
    • I’ve always been unconventional. I like to publish books that people wouldn’t find anywhere else. Books that are fun and surprising and bring people joy.
  8. I love doing business in alignment with my highest values with people I trust and respect.
    • I am lucky to have the ability to choose the way in which I work and the good fortune to work with such people.
  9. I love creating experiences where outsiders and people who are often on the fringe feel less alone.
    • In books I have found solace, camaraderie, and information otherwise hidden from my experience. There’s nothing quite like reading a book that feels like it was meant just for you. Discovering that you are not alone in the deepest, darkest, or weirdest thoughts you’ve ever imagined brings a great sense of connection and belonging that I, for one, continuously crave. I also like to incorporate this sensibility into the events I create and the way that I do business with people.
  10. I love promoting the idea that uniqueness and oddity are interesting and beautiful.
    • Because it is. I look for stories that express this is some way. This is a quality of all the art I admire.
  11. I love contributing to culture in a way that encourages intelligence, open mindedness and acceptance.
    • Some of my core values! To appreciate Bizarro Fiction takes an open mind. I will endeavor to always do everything in my power to promote free speech and creative expression.
  12. I love to cheer on talent that I admire and share it with others.
    • Because LOVE!

Fall 2015 New Releases from Eraserhead Press – Kyle Muntz and Carlton Mellick III

Available now! Eraserhead Press is pleased to present our book releases for Fall 2015.

1621052060 SCARY PEOPLE by Kyle Muntz

“Kind of like what might happen if Richard Brautigan had been hired to co-write an episode of Adventure Time. Scary People is playful and painful and surreally real, and great fun to read.” – BRIAN EVENSON

It’s about a group of friends in a place called the City, who keep dying and coming back to life. There are pirates, pedophile aliens, streets full of crucified prostitutes, a serial killer who bakes cakes out of children. Reading this will feel like a throwback to classic early-years Eraserhead, while also embodying an anime vibe that we don’t see nearly enough of in bizarro.

 

1621052079 BIO MELT by Carlton Mellick III

Nobody goes into the Wire District anymore. The place is an industrial wasteland of poisonous gas clouds and lakes of toxic sludge. The machines are still running, the drone-operated factories are still spewing biochemical fumes over the city, but the place has lain abandoned for decades.

When the area becomes flooded by a mysterious black ooze, six strangers find themselves trapped in the Wire District with no chance of escape or rescue. Banding together, they must find a way through the sea of bio-waste before the deadly atmosphere wipes them out. But there are dark things growing within the toxic slime around them, grotesque mutant creatures that have long been forgotten by the rest of civilization. They are known only as clusters–colossal monstrosities made from the fused-together body parts of a thousand discarded clones. They are lost, frightened, and very, very hungry.

It’s Attack on Titan meets David Cronenberg’s Videodrome in this apocalyptic cyberpunk horror novel by the mutton-chopped kingpin of bizarro fiction, Carlton Mellick III.

                                                                                      BUY NOW

LONG-FORM RELIGIOUS PORN by Laura Lee Bahr

EDITOR’S NOTE — This is a chapter from the Fungasm Press title, LONG-FORM RELIGIOUS PORN. Reprinted here as part of the Indiegogo campaign, now coming up on its final 24 hours! https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/fungasm-press-official-pre-sale-launch-party]

LONG-FORMcover

Chapter 1:

A Sick Friend

“—and that is why it must be George Clooney.”

Madeline Hunter is talking to be overheard, mouth full of guacamole. Her mother often told her talking with her mouth full was rude, but Madeline Hunter never shut up long enough to hear it. She swallows and drains her margarita, her eyes toward the door.

She continues talking in a litany that involves the following themes:

And why wouldn’t he be in? The movie is POLITICAL. The movie is SEXUAL. The movie has MYSTERY and blood and gore. And it is extremely well written. And it isn’t just Madeline that thinks so. The person who did coverage on it at ICM, he thought so, too; in fact, ICM (that’s one of the twin towers of representation in Hollywood, folks) said they would come on and represent the script—but not with Madeline as a director. They would want to attach a name director.

Madeline practically spits the last sentence, and then waves a hand through her black bob and strikes a pose like she is all Louise Brooks in the “Pandora’s Box.”

Fuck them! It is so fucking hard for women directors in this town. This town is filled with misogynists. That’s what drove someone like Dominique Colt to commit bloody murder the way she did. Don’t any of them get that? Right?”

Dieter Künstwerk, her companion across the booth, is not his usual responsive self. Normally, he’d already have fired back twelve witty rejoinders and a partridge in a pear tree. But he barely manages a head nod, after a pause so pregnant she is about to induce it with another “right?!” She notices for the first time that Dieter is not his usual dapper self, either. He looks like shit, frankly.

They are meeting at Casa Vega, where George Clooney is rumored to show up from time to time, which is as dark as a tomb even in the daytime.

Dieter has his sunglasses on. And he is not eating anything, meaning Madeline is eating the guacamole, the chips and salsa, and was the only one who ordered a margarita and a veggie burrito. She certainly doesn’t need to eat all this food by herself, even if she is only behind the camera.

Hey, you feeling okay, Deets?”

Dieter shakes his head. He had some eye surgery thing done—that’s why the sunglasses—and he has been having other medical issues lately.

Madeline gets a twinge of worry. Here she has been prattling on about George Clooney and Dieter might be dying. Fuck. What kind of friend is she, anyway? A shitty one, she knows it, but Dieter’s the best friend she’s got. She hopes to fuck he’s okay. Who else will listen to her bullshit?

So what’s the diagnosis? What do you got? Is it some weird illness or something?”

Dieter shakes his head. “No, it’s not an illness per se,” he says with a bit of a theatrical flip of his wrist. “It’s a condition.”

Well, what kind of condition?”

It’s a sensitivity to sunlight.”

Jesus, you are in the wrong town for that,” Madeline says. “All we got is sunlight.”

Dieter manages a weak smile. He has started to notice that.

She asks if doctors are making progress. How does this condition improve? Dieter says it is a chronic condition. In fact it is only going to get worse.

Shit! No more beach days?” Madeline says.

And Dieter starts to cry.

Madeline is appalled at her own insensitivity. Why, George Clooney could walk in at any moment and see her with this friend who clearly looks like he has something fatal and she is making him cry and she would look even worse when she left her sick crying friend and approached Clooney to hand him a script. But Dieter would understand. He is as shallow and opportunist as anyone. He would leave her drunk and puking at a bar to go home with a random hot bear in leather any day of the week… and had.

Madeline moves over to sit next to Dieter. Who cares if now she no longer has a view of the door. Fuck George Clooney. In one hundred years they would all be dead and who would care anyway whether she made this movie or if she ever met George Clooney or directed his next big thing. She is smart enough to be philosophical about everything, when it comes right down to it. Her heart: Ice cold.

Speaking of which, that is Dieter to the touch. She puts her arm around him and is even more alarmed. He is really thin and pasty and cold. She holds his little shoulders as they rock.

Hey, hey!” she says. “It’ll be all right. I think. Won’t it?”

Dieter shakes his head.

So he is dying then, that is it. Shit! She should write a movie about this. This would be a totally guerilla style indie. Fuck Hollywood. She doesn’t need their shit. She’ll just get a camera and chronicle the death of Dieter.

The Death of Dieter: It would be so moving— so sad— the story of a twenty-eight year old destined to die of some strange disease…. and, of course, the story of their eight year friendship, begun as sophomores at University of Southern California (USC), when she convinced him to skip class and go watch the Dominique Colt court case instead—

I wanna stop, Mads.”

Now that is interesting. Stop? She adjusts her thinking. Okay, so he’s lied to her. He is on drugs. Shit! Another stupid friend on drugs. She has no time in her life for stupid fucking addicts. Goddamn it Dieter, what a shit-head!

How can I help?” Madeline asks, in her most helpful voice, realizing immediately how much she has no desire to help.

Dieter takes off his sunglasses.

Madeline almost screams and jumps out of the booth. His eyes are fucking RED. Not red like he’s been crying. Red like his pupils are totally Amityville Horror Pig “GET OUT” fucking Red.

Can you keep a secret?” he asks.

She could not, never had, but she nods.

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