Love literally makes the world go round, so things are bound to get messy.
Ziora’s job, as a Dharma from the Odinani pantheon, is creating chaos in the lives of people made to fall in love by Cupids. But everything begins to go wrong when the couples she is assigned start to die, and a werewolf tries to kill her in her bedroom.
Fierce and decadent, Not Seeing Is A Flower is a stylish, supernatural adventure from the premier female Nigerian author of bizarro fiction, Erhu Kome.
Erhu Kome comes from the Urhobo tribe and grew up in Benin City, so you could say she has eaten the most delicious foods in the world. She writes speculative fiction. weird stories, and sometimes normal stories. She loves anime, Bob’s Burgers, and shows that have Eric Kripke involved in the making.
Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.
Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.
Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot’s size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He’s so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona’s tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.
Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick’s pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of Candyland, Armadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.
For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and “one of the most original novelists working today” by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an erotic urban fantasy crime novel about love and violence, sex and sexuality, oppression and overcoming impossible odds.
Carlton Mellick III is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of over 45 novels, including Quicksand House, Bio Melt, Cuddly Holocaust and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, among others. In 2013, he was named one of the top 20 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian UK.
Welcome to Cerealand! A place where adults can relive their childhood desire while indulging in their most perverted fantasies! Our rides are x-rated, our cereal is alcoholic and our mascots aren’t just people in suits – they are genetically mutated and reshaped into your favorite cereal mascots! Isn’t that amazing!? At Cerealand, we are committed to making your experience as nostalgically hedonistic as possible!
Something is rotten in Cereal Land and it’s not just the rancid milk fountains. Things have been going downhill at the Amusement Park ever since the three daughters of Captain Crunch took over. Rides have been breaking down, attendance is low, and strange new mascots are showing up in the park. None of this would bother Lucky the Leprechaun so much, except for the fact that he thinks something might have happened to his ex-girlfriend who’s gone missing. Something to do with all the strange businessmen that have been wandering the park lately. Something to do with the Security Soggies showing up in strange places. Teaming up with Sugar Bear, a leather daddy who helped design the park with Captain Crunch, Lucky hits the back alleys of Cerealand, forcing himself to confront his own demons and past as he ventures deeper into the milky mystery surrounding the disappearance of the Toucan Sam he once loved.
Snap! Crackle! Fuck You! is part of a complete breakfast.
Simon Oré Molina is an imaginary friend for hire and a lover of snacks. Born in Montreal, Canada to a Moroccan father and Mexican mother, (he’s a MoroCanexican) he now lives in Los Angeles, CA where he works as head of development at Starburns Industries, an animation studio in Burbank. He is also the founder of SBI Press, where he has produced over 20 Albums on limited edition cassette tape (including Dan Harmon’s Rap Album, Angelyne’s Meditation Tape “Cosmic Gods”, Chuck Tingle’s “Guide to the Tingleverse Museum” and “Rosetta Stone for Cats”) and edited graphic novels books such as “Trent “by Dino Stamatopoulos and “The Crawling King” by Einar Baldvin. He co-hosts Saturday Morning Cartoons, an animation mix tape show that plays monthly at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater in Los Angeles as well as is the co-founder of El Cine, a non profit organization that promotes diversity in the arts and has screenings of LatinX films with their creators. He is left handed and therefore should be considered sinister.
As announced on January 28, 2019, I have stepped down as coordinator of the Bizarro Writers Association. I will no longer host BWA meetings at BizarroCon, in Portland, or online, and I will no longer be responsible for coordinating the activities of the BWA. What this means is that the BWA needs new leadership in order to continue. I urge that a new Bizarro Writers Association be formed and run by writers.
Up until now, the BWA was a loose affiliation of writers, artists, publishers and editors whose mission has been to increase awareness of the bizarro fiction genre. I started the group in 2007 on the Mondo Bizarro message board (for all of you old-timers who remember) as a place for us to discuss the business side of the industry away from the public conversations which included readers and fans. From there, we started meeting up in person at different conventions around the country to enhance our support of each other’s work and to coordinate ways of expanding the genre. Our first annual meeting happened at BizarroCon #1 in 2008. And here we are 12 years later.
But for all this time, the BWA was never really an official thing, it was just a group of people with a little skin in the game, getting together (usually over drinks) sharing our experiences and making plans that would benefit the genre and the work we were producing. Anyone with an interest in the business side of things was welcome to call themselves a member and I personally reached out to individual writers, other editors, publishers, and artists who I thought would enjoy participating. Our DIY ethos has always been, “If you want to see something happen, you make it happen, and you find people along the way who want to help you.” So that’s exactly what we’ve been doing. All of us.
And you know what? We’ve been successful. Yes! Over the years we have increased awareness of the bizarro fiction genre. Our group has coordinated hundreds of events. We have inspired BWA gatherings in other parts of the world. We have reviewed, blurbed, and promoted each other’s work. We have provided education and mentorship to one another. We have also created lasting friendships, supported each other during personal times of difficulty, and laid the groundwork for a strong supportive community.
So why is it time for a new BWA? Because it is best for the genre. The needs of the creators have changed, the demands on the leader have evolved, and I am no longer able to fulfill that role. My involvement has always been one of facilitator, note taker, listener, and planner. As a publisher, I was accustomed to coordinating authors and managing projects. Since most of the people involved in the beginning were authors I was publishing, it was natural for me to coordinate us. But as we have grown, that has changed. It no longer makes sense for the publisher of Eraserhead Press to be leading the Bizarro Writers Association. It creates conflicts of interest and limitations. I’ve been challenged with making decisions between what is best for my company and what is best for other businesses. When a writer has a problem with Eraserhead Press (or any other publisher) there is no one else to hold the publishers accountable. People who have problems with me or my staff have felt shut out of the whole community. And the genre suffers. What the genre needs now is a Bizarro Writers Association that is run by writers (instead of a publisher), a legitimate professional organization with real authority, an association created not just to promote the authors and the genre but to protect them as well. Which is why it is time for me to step out of the way and allow room for it to grow.
There are a lot of exciting possibilities for the Bizarro Writers Association and its impact on the future of the bizarro genre. I believe we would all benefit from an official non-profit organization of writers and publishing professionals dedicated to promoting bizarro fiction and the interests of those who write it.
If you agree that it is time to take this community to the next level, the first step towards making it happen is to officially elect a President of the Bizarro Writers Association. The person will be responsible for its new form and for incorporating and ushering in its new Board of Directors.
Next steps:
We need to create a group discussion on how the voting process for the new President should be handled. It could be done through a Facebook poll or via email (either anonymously or publically). It could be done internally or be handled through a neutral third party. Also, we need to decide who is eligible to vote, who is eligible to run, and what the term limits should be.
At least two candidates need to step forward. Each candidate should be allowed to give a statement to the community arguing why they are the right person for the job.
If you think you have what it takes to become BWA president, keep in mind this will be a very important job that requires a high level of commitment. You will be responsible for the growth of the bizarro fiction genre and inspiring our movement to action. We need someone with a lot of drive, someone not afraid of hard work who is willing to sacrifice both time and energy for the betterment of the community. If you are only interested in this role for egotistical reasons (such as thinking it would be a good credit on your author bio), then you’re not the right person for the job. The right person is prepared to direct and motivate a team, possesses excellent communication and strategic decision-making skills and is efficient with conflict management and problem-solving. This is going to be a demanding and challenging role that requires someone who really cares about the genre and the authors in the community. What matters is that you have a passion to see creators of bizarro fiction succeed. Be prepared for hard work. Be prepared to inspire. Be prepared to give your all for your community.
I have faith in all of you to make the right decisions. I believe that the right person will emerge and be ready to take the reins. Given the events of the past few weeks, I’ve noticed a lot of you expressing your fear that this was going to spell the death of the genre. But I have to say, I personally believe this isn’t the end, this is just the beginning, and you are on the ground floor. If the right person steps forward, I believe the next twenty years will be even better than the last.
From twin writing duo Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason, better known as The Sisters of Slaughter, comes a bizarro fairytale for adults. It is a gory, fast-paced, magical tale set in a fascinating world of decay. We love this story for its weird world and unlikely hero. Check it out and let us know what you think!
Molarous is a secret kingdom in a land of myth and magic. Its citizens, the Hyperdontians, are a grotesque race of people whose teeth grow outside of their mouths and all over their bodies like beautiful skin-splitting tumors. But lately, the kingdom has been under attack by a vicious plague that devours the toothy subjects of Molarous whole, causing their once pearly-white armor to rot away to nothing. Their queen, Bicuspa, better known as the Tooth Fairy in our world, is desperate for a savior. By a twisted turn of fate, her wish is granted in the form of a dental school drop out by the name of Randy. He seems the unlikeliest of heroes, but can he defeat the tooth demon before it kills everyone in Molarous and steals the soul of every child on earth?
Mix the childhood myth of the Tooth Fairy with the gore and humor of Army of Darkness and you have a grotesque adventure tale that will leave your face aching and your heart spilling open.
Available in paperback and kindle May 1, 2018 BUY NOW!
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Loyal readers remember MUSCLE MEMORY as published through the New Bizarro Author Series several years back. This story has recently been receiving attention from a new audience and Steve Lowe has updated and expanded the story in this brand new edition!
“It’s always a risky proposition: to take a well-known trope (especially one that peaked in the films of the 80s) and try to find a new way to spin it. In Muscle Memory, Steve Lowe takes his cue from movies like Freaky Friday and Like Father, Like Son, presenting a tale of bodies switched and swapped all over a small community. Using some clever writing however, Lowe transcends the typical structure of those stories and takes it to a whole new level of absurd and hilarious wonder.” —Michael Allen Rose, author of Embry: Hard-boiled
More Muscle, More Memory…
Billy Gillespie wakes up one morning to discover his junk is gone. In its place is his wife’s junk. Billy is now Tina, and Tina is probably dead. That’s because Billy’s dead. His lifeless body is still in bed and empty beer bottles and a container of antifreeze litter the kitchen counter. Did Tina really poison Billy? Can he and his neighbors, all experiencing their own bouts of body switcheroo, fix this before the Feds find Billy’s body? Was it aliens, or God, or the government? What was Edgar Winter really doing with his sheep? Is pro football Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw the key to everything? What Would Kirk Cameron Do? In the expanded edition of this New Bizarro Author Series original, all will be revealed. Maybe.
CRAZY EBOOK SALE! TODAY only, over 200 titles in our catalog are just $0.99 each. Find books from all imprints and popular authors!
Here’s a complete list:
It’s getting on the most Bizarro time of year! November brings not only BizarroCon, the biggest gathering of Bizarro authors in the world but also brand new Bizarro books for the discriminating weirdo. This year, we have not just another book by Southern fried pulpmaster David W Barbee but also a bizarro dark comedy by skillful Tiffany Scandal! You could order them when they come out next week (Nov 18th) or, if you’re really excited (which you should be), you can preorder them now!
He was just another man with a drinking problem. Only, alcohol transformed this man into a beastly hulk named Piggly Swiggly. And since he’s always drunk, big and brutal Piggly has drowned his human half in a sea of booze.
After yet another rampaging bender, Piggly Swiggly awakes in a sprawling metropolis full of crocodile zeppelins, greasy bacon addicts, and worse: prohibition. Trapped in this strange tee-totaled town, he must keep his buzz going or else revert to his weak and vulnerable human form. But even then, Piggly Swiggly’s depraved existence may prove his undoing, especially when gangsters are plotting to cut off his snout, a pig-loving princess is looking to steal his heart, and he must face the worst torture of all…sobriety.
“One of the most exciting new voices to emerge in years. A deft, masterful mix of both bizarro and horror.”–Brian Keene, author of The Rising and Ghoul
“Dark and grim and surreal.” —Electric Literature
Mondays suck. You get mugged, your car won’t start, you miss the bus, and your stylist burns a bald spot into your head. Suddenly you’re single and unemployed, and the only friend you have left is a cat. By Tuesday, you’ve been murdered. But death isn’t the end. You find yourself on an odyssey between weird worlds, reborn each time you die, stalked obsessively by the man who killed you.
Even in death, you just can’t seem to catch a break. Call it Mercury in retrograde, call it Murphy’s law, call it . . .SHIT LUCK
***
And of course, bizarro fans know that November also brings something else to look forward to: The New Bizarro Author Series. Every year, Eraserhead Press seeks out the best new talent in bizarro fiction. This year, we bring you four wild, weird and unique new bizarro books for your reading pleasure and you can be the first kid on your block to own ’em! The books don’t come out until the 17th but you can make sure you get them as soon as humanly possible. How? By preordering them now.
The Sky hates Kyle. He’s not sure exactly what he did to anger The Sky, but now, Kyle’s life is a nightmare. He loses his job, his girlfriend leaves him, not to mention he’s assaulted by hail, rain, flying condoms and anything the sky can possibly throw at him. Trees fall on his house, and hurricanes are sent after him. And that’s just the beginning. Enigmatic emissaries of The Sky come and lend their brand of aid, which only succeeds in sending Kyle on a journey into madness, crime, redemption, sexual indiscretions and despair. Can Kyle make peace with The Sky, or will the entire world always conspire against him?
How much longer can I live like this, if one can call this living?
The question haunts Bill Vine, an adipose junkie with a mean McRecycling habit, as he goes about the business of resupplying his dwindling stores of body fat. But then one day he has an intimate encounter with the deadly but alluring black goo and crosses over into the neo-reality of Tetraminion. In this new world, a degenerate species of enslaved mutants serve as the primary source for gringe, an unspeakable substance distributed by a faceless cabal known as The System. Intent on more than controlling the supply of gringe, The System will exploit Bill’s innermost secrets and fears.
Being a teenager is awkward. Being a teenager when you’re attracted to your aunt is even more awkward. Being a teenager when you’re attracted to your aunt who happens to be a seventies pin-up poster hanging in your uncle’s bathroom is almost unbearable. Aunt Poster is a coming of age story like you’ve never seen before, a tale of guilt, lust and obsession with no easy answers. Can love conquer all this awkwardness? Probably not.
A wolf with guitar strings. A turtle turned into drum. An alligator girl transformed into a synthesizer. A golden retriever converted into a theremin. These animals are the lifeblood of prog/noise group 2666. The beasts live in slavery until a sentient golden ax teaches them that they can be free. Their human masters are ruthless, cruel and desperate for fame but for these creatures, life and freedom is at stake. The instruments of 2666 will fight and die for it.
David Agranoff, Laura Lee Bahr, Leza Cantoral, Brian Allen Carr, Autumn Christian, Noah Cicero, Rios De La Luz, Juliet Escoria, Constance Ann Fitzgerald, Cody Goodfellow, Gabino Iglesias, M.P. Johnson, Michael Kazepis, Sean Kilpatrick, Andrea Kneeland, Marc Levinthal, Ross E. Lockhart, Kevin Maloney, Scott McClanahan, J. David Osborne, Christoph Paul, Cameron Pierce, Tiffany Scandal, Michael Seidlinger, John Skipp, Danger Slater, Bix Skahill, Anthony Trevino, Grant Wamack
Where:
AWP Conference & Book Fair, Los Angeles Convention Center, Booth #431
We have your essential weird fiction pop-up store set up at Booth #431 in the exhibit hall at AWP. You can find titles from Eraserhead Press, Lazy Fascist Press, Fungasm Press, Word Horde, Broken River Books, Lady Box Books, and King Shot Press! Come visit us for personalized recommendations and find out what’s new and what’s hot.
There are TONS of FREE offsite events associated with AWP. Here’s just a few where you will find your bizarro friends:
Days of the Dead Convention, Los Angeles Burbank Hotel Friday night Splatterpunk legend John Skipp (The Light at the End, Tales of Halloween) moderates this wild discussion DAYS OF THE DEAD: Los Angeles 2016 with some of its finest new writers, showing how Bizarro differs from more traditional horror, science fiction, fantasy, and mainstream tales.Featuring authors: Danger Slater (I Will Rot Without You) Laura Lee Bahr (Haunt & Long-Form Religious Porn) Cody Goodfellow (All-Monster Action) Autumn Christian (Ecstatic Inferno) MP Johnson (Dungeons & Drag Queens)
And books will be for sale all weekend at our table in the vendor room!
Mass Autograph Signing at Dark Delicacies Bookstore in Burbank, CA
The weekend will culminate in a giant bizarro bonanza at the coolest bookshop in Burbank on Sunday. If you do one this this weekend, this should be it!Featuring authors:
JOHN SKIPP (The Art of Horrible People)
LAURA LEE BAHR (Long-Form Religious Porn)
DANGER SLATER (I Will Rot Without You)
AUTUMN CHRISTIAN (Ecstatic Inferno )
CODY GOODFELLOW (The Last Goddam Hollywood Movie)
MP JOHNSON (Dungeons and Drag Queens)
J DAVID OSBORNE (Low Down Death Right Easy)
RIOS DE LA LUZ (The Pulse between Dimensions and the Desert)
TIFFANY SCANDAL (Jigsaw Youth)
MICHAEL KAZEPIS (Long Lost Dog of It)
MARC LEVINTHAL (The Emerald Burrito of Oz)
DAVID AGRANOFF (Amazing Punk Stories)
ROSS E. LOCKHART (anthology wizard)
GABINO IGLESIAS (Zero Saints)
CHRISTOPH PAUL (Slasher Camp for Nerd Dorks)
LEZA CANTORAL (Planet Mermaid)
CONSTANCE ANN FITZGERALD (Trashland A Go-Go)
GRANT WAMACK (A Lightbulb’s Lament )
BIX SKAHILL (Babes in Gangland )
ANTHONY TREVINO (King Space Void)
Eraserhead Press has some awesome bizarro fiction books lined up for release in 2015, starting with three new titles from authors Carlton Mellick III, David W. Barbee and Garrett Cook. AVAILABLE NOW!
Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.
What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.
As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.
Presenting four novellas from bizarro author David W. Barbee, featuring electric werewolves, cyborg psychopaths, and a drunken ghost on a mission from God.
THE NIGHT’S NEON FANGS
On Christmas night, Buster Wade is cursed by the high voltage bite of an electric werewolf. With his life in shambles, he takes a job as the bodyguard for a grisly old miser looking to harness the bloodthirsty lightning coursing through his veins. Together, they travel a grotesque American monsterscape, sweeping up mummies that rain from the sky. Can Buster contain himself until he’s able to end his curse? Or will he sink his sizzling neon fangs into everyone around him?
NOAH’S ARKOPOLIS
Noah’s Ark never found land. The Lord God left him and all the animals alone on a planet of endless ocean. In the coming centuries, Noah’s simple boat became Arkopolis, a floating city where Noah’s human family and all the animals of the earth bred generations of mutant citizens. Now, that animal world is on the brink of war, and their only hope is the ghost of their righteous, noble, and falling-down-drunk founder, Noah.
THAT ULTIMO SUMBITCH
He roams the outback astride the meanest ostrich alive, a stone-cold killer with six-shooters for hands, on the hunt for wanted outlaws, reptiloid invaders, and scalp-hungry hippies. He has a name, but in this bionic, Bizarro western, they all call him that ultimo sumbitch.
BATCOP OUTTA HELL
All the people in Guano City are bats, and upholding the law are the crime-fighting batcops. But something is rotten in the caped crusaders’ ranks. A slain officer has returned from the pits of Hell to take revenge for his family’s unjust murder and rejoin the force. Now, the lovable misfits of Precinct 7 must help their fellow officer on his bloody rampage across Guano City, all for the glory of the Batdevil.
“Garrett Cook truly amazes me. His imagination is mind-blowing, his prose sings like the sweetest discombobulated sirens, and no matter how far out or strange his stories may get, he has the magical ability to make it all work.”
-Trent Zelazny, author of To Sleep Gently
“There’s no way to prepare, no way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge…and it’s at your throat.”
-Robert Dunbar, Bram Stoker nominee, author of Martyrs and Monsters
“Garrett Cook and Jimmy Plush ain’t fluff. Raw and uncut, dealin’ out death to the offensive, they preach sledgehammer when they drop hardcore in hardboiled” -Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Editor of A Season in Carcosa
“It is one thing to create a world. It is another thing to make it real. Cook’s impressive and highly ambitious novel does this admirably.” -Sean Keller, screenwriter Dario Argento’s Giallo
From the Wonderland Award winning author of Time Pimp and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective comes a new collection of weird, horrifying, and heartfelt stories.
Featuring: RE-MANCIPATOR
When zombie Abraham Lincolns start running amuck, John Wilkes Booth, Marilyn Monroe, and other greats from history must save the day!
DIESELPIG
The beloved Smiley the Pig is here to save us from the Catholic Church. And he’s brought a shit ton of guns!
BRIAN’S GIRL
A gorgeous woman arrives one day at a man’s door for anonymous sex. It’s not a dream come true- it’s the beginning of a cult that will change the world.
