Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.
Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.
Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot’s size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He’s so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona’s tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.
Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick’s pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of Candyland, Armadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.
For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and “one of the most original novelists working today” by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an erotic urban fantasy crime novel about love and violence, sex and sexuality, oppression and overcoming impossible odds.
Carlton Mellick III is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of over 45 novels, including Quicksand House, Bio Melt, Cuddly Holocaust and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, among others. In 2013, he was named one of the top 20 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian UK.
Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.
What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.
As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.
Presenting four novellas from bizarro author David W. Barbee, featuring electric werewolves, cyborg psychopaths, and a drunken ghost on a mission from God.
THE NIGHT’S NEON FANGS
On Christmas night, Buster Wade is cursed by the high voltage bite of an electric werewolf. With his life in shambles, he takes a job as the bodyguard for a grisly old miser looking to harness the bloodthirsty lightning coursing through his veins. Together, they travel a grotesque American monsterscape, sweeping up mummies that rain from the sky. Can Buster contain himself until he’s able to end his curse? Or will he sink his sizzling neon fangs into everyone around him?
Noah’s Ark never found land. The Lord God left him and all the animals alone on a planet of endless ocean. In the coming centuries, Noah’s simple boat became Arkopolis, a floating city where Noah’s human family and all the animals of the earth bred generations of mutant citizens. Now, that animal world is on the brink of war, and their only hope is the ghost of their righteous, noble, and falling-down-drunk founder, Noah.
THAT ULTIMO SUMBITCH
He roams the outback astride the meanest ostrich alive, a stone-cold killer with six-shooters for hands, on the hunt for wanted outlaws, reptiloid invaders, and scalp-hungry hippies. He has a name, but in this bionic, Bizarro western, they all call him that ultimo sumbitch.
BATCOP OUTTA HELL
All the people in Guano City are bats, and upholding the law are the crime-fighting batcops. But something is rotten in the caped crusaders’ ranks. A slain officer has returned from the pits of Hell to take revenge for his family’s unjust murder and rejoin the force. Now, the lovable misfits of Precinct 7 must help their fellow officer on his bloody rampage across Guano City, all for the glory of the Batdevil.
“Garrett Cook truly amazes me. His imagination is mind-blowing, his prose sings like the sweetest discombobulated sirens, and no matter how far out or strange his stories may get, he has the magical ability to make it all work.”
-Trent Zelazny, author of To Sleep Gently
“There’s no way to prepare, no way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge…and it’s at your throat.”
-Robert Dunbar, Bram Stoker nominee, author of Martyrs and Monsters
“Garrett Cook and Jimmy Plush ain’t fluff. Raw and uncut, dealin’ out death to the offensive, they preach sledgehammer when they drop hardcore in hardboiled” -Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Editor of A Season in Carcosa
“It is one thing to create a world. It is another thing to make it real. Cook’s impressive and highly ambitious novel does this admirably.” -Sean Keller, screenwriter Dario Argento’s Giallo
From the Wonderland Award winning author of Time Pimp and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective comes a new collection of weird, horrifying, and heartfelt stories.
When zombie Abraham Lincolns start running amuck, John Wilkes Booth, Marilyn Monroe, and other greats from history must save the day!
The beloved Smiley the Pig is here to save us from the Catholic Church. And he’s brought a shit ton of guns!
A gorgeous woman arrives one day at a man’s door for anonymous sex. It’s not a dream come true- it’s the beginning of a cult that will change the world.
From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a gritty urban fantasy unlike anything you’ve read before.
In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell’s Bottom — a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires.
Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller’s Sin City and David Lapham’s Stray Bullets, Carlton Mellick III’s Hungry Bug is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic. Buy Now!
Kip has the worst case of acne that anyone has ever seen. Zits cover his entire body; his skin is aflame with bright red, pus-filled sores. He has become an outcast in his school and the other kids call him Toad.
But what they don’t know is the pus leaking from Kip’s acne is actually a powerful narcotic that produces strong psychedelic effects. Soon, everyone in school will want a taste of his hallucinogenic cream and this former-loser will become the most popular kid in school. But once you lick the Toad, there’s no going back to normal drugs. His classmates just can’t get enough. And as their addiction grows, they will stop at nothing to get it…
In the spirit of Street Trash and Class of Nukem’ High comes a novel about growing up, finding yourself, and tripping on bodily fluids. Shane McKenzie and Eraserhead Press present a bizarro high school drama drenched in Technicolor-splatter!
He’s huge. He’s hairy. He’s pissed off and he’s got a badge. He’s Bigfoot Cop.
Bigfoot is a renegade detective on the edge. He’s no longer the tranquil solitary creature of legend; he’s now a foot-stomping, car-flipping crime fighter who can’t stop ripping everyone’s fucking arms off when he gets mad.
After he destroys an entire city block while trying to apprehend a group of petty criminals, the police chief transfers him to Missing Persons and assigns him a new partner he doesn’t want – Lyle Straits, a crotchety by-the-book detective who is allergic to animal dander. The unlikely duo is tasked with solving the rising number of local disappearances (mostly redheads). But what starts as a routine investigation turns into the biggest case the world has ever seen.
From the author of Island of the Super People and Rotten Little Animals comes a buddy-cop comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.
If they don’t act fast, they’ll never get out alive…
Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Strange creatures lurk in the toxic jungle. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind.
Once they realize the rescue ships aren’t coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is toxic, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman’s body.
From the crazy imagination of bizarro fiction master Carlton Mellick III comes Tumor Fruit–an intense survival story full of eccentric characters, nail-biting suspense, and unpredictable twists.
Like LOST on steroids, for the bizarro generation.