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New Release: Full Metal Octopus by Carlton Mellick III

Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.

Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.

Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot’s size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He’s so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona’s tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.

Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick’s pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of CandylandArmadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.

For almost 20 years, Carlton Mellick III has been writing some of the strangest and most compelling novels the bizarro fiction genre has to offer. Described as one of the top 40 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian and “one of the most original novelists working today” by extreme horror legend Edward Lee, Mellick returns with an erotic urban fantasy crime novel about love and violence, sex and sexuality, oppression and overcoming impossible odds.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carlton Mellick III is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of over 45 novels, including Quicksand House, Bio Melt, Cuddly Holocaust and Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, among others. In 2013, he was named one of the top 20 science-fiction writers under the age of 40 by The Guardian UK.

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New Release: Snap! Crackle! Fuck You! by Simon Oré Molina

Snap! Crackle! Fuck You! by Simon Ore Molina

Welcome to Cerealand! A place where adults can relive their childhood desire while indulging in their most perverted fantasies! Our rides are x-rated, our cereal is alcoholic and our mascots aren’t just people in suits – they are genetically mutated and reshaped into your favorite cereal mascots! Isn’t that amazing!? At Cerealand, we are committed to making your experience as nostalgically hedonistic as possible!

Something is rotten in Cereal Land and it’s not just the rancid milk fountains. Things have been going downhill at the Amusement Park ever since the three daughters of Captain Crunch took over. Rides have been breaking down, attendance is low, and strange new mascots are showing up in the park. None of this would bother Lucky the Leprechaun so much, except for the fact that he thinks something might have happened to his ex-girlfriend who’s gone missing. Something to do with all the strange businessmen that have been wandering the park lately. Something to do with the Security Soggies showing up in strange places. Teaming up with Sugar Bear, a leather daddy who helped design the park with Captain Crunch, Lucky hits the back alleys of Cerealand, forcing himself to confront his own demons and past as he ventures deeper into the milky mystery surrounding the disappearance of the Toucan Sam he once loved.

Snap! Crackle! Fuck You! is part of a complete breakfast.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Simon Oré Molina is an imaginary friend for hire and a lover of snacks. Born in Montreal, Canada to a Moroccan father and Mexican mother, (he’s a MoroCanexican) he now lives in Los Angeles, CA where he works as head of development at Starburns Industries, an animation studio in Burbank. He is also the founder of SBI Press, where he has produced over 20 Albums on limited edition cassette tape (including Dan Harmon’s Rap Album, Angelyne’s Meditation Tape “Cosmic Gods”, Chuck Tingle’s “Guide to the Tingleverse Museum” and “Rosetta Stone for Cats”) and edited graphic novels books such as “Trent “by Dino Stamatopoulos and “The Crawling King” by Einar Baldvin. He co-hosts Saturday Morning Cartoons, an animation mix tape show that plays monthly at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater in Los Angeles as well as is the co-founder of El Cine, a non profit organization that promotes diversity in the arts and has screenings of LatinX films with their creators. He is left handed and therefore should be considered sinister.

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New Release: WIDOW OF THE AMPUTATION by Robert Guffey

Eraserhead Press is proud to announce the release of WIDOW OF THE AMPUTATION by Robert Guffey

Widow of the Amputation & Other Weird Crimes is a collection of four novellas that explore the madness of murder through the warped lenses of urban noir, science fiction, horror, and experimental fantasy.

About the stories:

  • In Decay in Amber, a convicted rapist and murderer wakes up one morning to discover he is only six inches tall and floating down the middle of the L.A. River in a beer bottle.
  • In Rocket City Murder, a police lieutenant has only twenty-four hours to solve a brutal triple-murder committed within the secretive confines of the bio warfare research lab known as Micropolis.
  • In Widow of the Amputation, the mythologies of various cultures collide as Charles Manson succeeds in busting out of Corcoran Penitentiary.
  • And in You Might As Well Die, a crime noir writer is led into a clever cat-and-mouse game intended to frame him for a murder he himself unknowingly devised.

Along with Cormac McCarthy, Guffey is my favorite modern fiction writer.

Gary D. Rhodes, author of The Perils of Movie going in America

About the author:

Robert Guffey is a lecturer in the Department of English at California State University – Long Beach. His most recent books are WIDOW OF THE AMPUTATION AND OTHER WEIRD CRIMES (Eraserhead Press, 2021), a collection of four novellas, and a novel entitled BELA LUGOSI’S DEAD (Crossroad Press, 2021). Find him on Goodreads.

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November 2016 New Books Available 

It’s getting on the most Bizarro time of year! November brings not only BizarroCon, the biggest gathering of Bizarro authors in the world but also brand new Bizarro books for the discriminating weirdo. This year, we have not just another book by Southern fried pulpmaster David W Barbee but also a bizarro dark comedy by skillful Tiffany Scandal! You could order them when they come out next week (Nov 18th) or, if you’re really excited (which you should be), you can preorder them now!

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Bacon Fried Bastard by David W Barbee

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He was just another man with a drinking problem. Only, alcohol transformed this man into a beastly hulk named Piggly Swiggly. And since he’s always drunk, big and brutal Piggly has drowned his human half in a sea of booze.

After yet another rampaging bender, Piggly Swiggly awakes in a sprawling metropolis full of crocodile zeppelins, greasy bacon addicts, and worse: prohibition. Trapped in this strange tee-totaled town, he must keep his buzz going or else revert to his weak and vulnerable human form. But even then, Piggly Swiggly’s depraved existence may prove his undoing, especially when gangsters are plotting to cut off his snout, a pig-loving princess is looking to steal his heart, and he must face the worst torture of all…sobriety.

 

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Shit Luck by Tiffany Scandal

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“One of the most exciting new voices to emerge in years. A deft, masterful mix of both bizarro and horror.”–Brian Keene, author of The Rising and Ghoul

“Dark and grim and surreal.” —Electric Literature

Mondays suck. You get mugged, your car won’t start, you miss the bus, and your stylist burns a bald spot into your head. Suddenly you’re single and unemployed, and the only friend you have left is a cat. By Tuesday, you’ve been murdered. But death isn’t the end. You find yourself on an odyssey between weird worlds, reborn each time you die, stalked obsessively by the man who killed you.

Even in death, you just can’t seem to catch a break. Call it Mercury in retrograde, call it Murphy’s law, call it . . .SHIT LUCK

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And of course,  bizarro fans know that November also brings something else to look forward to: The New Bizarro Author Series.  Every year,  Eraserhead Press seeks out the best new talent in bizarro fiction. This year, we bring you four wild, weird and unique new bizarro books for your reading pleasure and you can be the first kid on your block to own ’em!  The books don’t come out until the 17th but you can make sure you get them as soon as humanly possible. How? By preordering them now.

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Hate from the Sky by Sean M Thompson

The Sky hates Kyle. He’s not sure exactly what he did to anger The Sky, but now, Kyle’s life is a nightmare. He loses his job, his girlfriend leaves him, not to mention he’s assaulted by hail, rain, flying condoms and anything the sky can possibly throw at him. Trees fall on his house, and hurricanes are sent after him. And that’s just the beginning. Enigmatic emissaries of The Sky come and lend their brand of aid, which only succeeds in sending Kyle on a journey into madness, crime, redemption, sexual indiscretions and despair. Can Kyle make peace with The Sky, or will the entire world always conspire against him?

PREORDER!

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Tetraminion by R.A. Roth

How much longer can I live like this, if one can call this living?

The question haunts Bill Vine, an adipose junkie with a mean McRecycling habit, as he goes about the business of resupplying his dwindling stores of body fat. But then one day he has an intimate encounter with the deadly but alluring black goo and crosses over into the neo-reality of Tetraminion. In this new world, a degenerate species of enslaved mutants serve as the primary source for gringe, an unspeakable substance distributed by a faceless cabal known as The System. Intent on more than controlling the supply of gringe, The System will exploit Bill’s innermost secrets and fears.

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Aunt Poster by John Wayne Comunale

Being a teenager is awkward. Being a teenager when you’re attracted to your aunt is even more awkward. Being a teenager when you’re attracted to your aunt who happens to be a seventies pin-up poster hanging in your uncle’s bathroom is almost unbearable. Aunt Poster is a coming of age story like you’ve never seen before, a tale of guilt, lust and obsession with no easy answers. Can love conquer all this awkwardness? Probably not.

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Guitar Wolf by Nicholaus Patnaude

A wolf with guitar strings. A turtle turned into drum. An alligator girl transformed into a synthesizer. A golden retriever converted into a theremin. These animals are the lifeblood of prog/noise group 2666. The beasts live in slavery until a sentient golden ax teaches them that they can be free. Their human masters are ruthless, cruel and desperate for fame but for these creatures, life and freedom is at stake. The instruments of 2666 will fight and die for it.

PREORDER!

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Bizarro Fiction T-Shirts

One of our favorite affiliates is SCURVY INK. Screenprinter, Sam McCanna lovingly creates t-shirts, patches, and other fun items based around books and writers that he likes. Check out some of our favorite designs and order some fun new t-shirts for the summer!

Eraserhead Press Logo
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(He even made Rose O’Keefe a custom one of these with pink ink!)

Deadite Press Logo
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Lazy Fascist Press Logo
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Zombies and Shit T-2000 T-Shirt
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(Rose wears this shirt at least once a week and gets a lot of questions about it)

Cripple Wolf T-Shirt
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Hyno-Hog’s Moonshine Monster Jamboree T-Shirt

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(based on the book and artwork of Andrew Goldfarb, one of several Goldfarb’s designs)

Motherfucking Sharks T-Shirt

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Trashland A Go-Go T-Shirt

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Unicorn Battle Squad T-Shirt

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Skullcrack City T-Shirt

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And this is just the tip of the iceburg, folks. Check out SCURVYINK.COM for the full list of designs and start representing Bizarro Fiction in your wardrobe!

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Top 10 Books Recommended for Writers

As an editor and publisher for the past 15 years, I’ve spent a lot of my time coaching writers through the process of writing, editing and marketing their books.  It can be a challenging process even for the most ambitious and confident individual. All creators need encouragement, inspiration, and a kick in the pants sometimes. I’d like to share with you a list of ten books I frequently recommend to authors.
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This book is fascinating because it explains the neuroscience behind how stories work and why they are important to human development. It teaches how our brains are hardwired to respond to story, to pay attention to them and learn about the world and human emotion. It delves into the specific aspects that the brain is hungry for in every story it encounters and how by being aware of and strategically utilizing those hardwired expectations as cues, the writer can craft stories that will captivate and transform readers. For a glimpse into this concept you can watch this TED talk by the author.
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I’m going to assume that you’re familiar with The Elements of Style by Strunk and White.  That old chestnut was written for a different era and, if followed too rigidly will lead, in this author’s opinion, to “dead writing.” While I still consider the original a classic and a must read for all manipulators of language, Spunk and Bite by Arthur Plotnik is the next step in a writer’s evolution.  In this age of increasingly short attention spans and overwhelming media input, writing must have “punch and vibrancy” to capture a reader’s interest. This clear and entertaining instruction guide seeks to energize and liberate writers from outdated style conventions.
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“Know the enemy, know yourself,” wrote Sun Tzu in his classic The Art of War, “and your victory will be certain.” This book does a great job of defining the inner demons, “Resistance,” that all creative people face. A somewhat philosophical read, this book may just give you the dose of tough love and inspiration you need to overcome your own creative blocks and authentically express yourself.
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People I’ve recommended this book to either love it or hate it. It’s a workbook that take you through a twelve-week program for overcoming creative blocks and achieving artistic confidence. Even if you don’t read this book, there is one very useful lesson that I’d like to share with you: the concept of “morning pages.” Morning pages are, as author Julia Cameron puts it “spiritual windshield wipers,” longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. What matters is not what you write but the process of doing it, and it’s the most cost effective therapy I’ve ever discovered. If you find yourself constantly preoccupied with distracting thoughts and looking for the key to getting your brain to settle down and focus I recommend trying this for a week to see what effect it may have on you.
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Not a book on writing or creativity but an essential read for anyone seeking an audience. Written by a media strategist and marketer, this book explains how modern media works. Ever wonder why there are so many click bait articles online? You know, the ones that have inflammatory headlines but are really about nothing. This book explains how marketers benefit from controversy and why no media is bad media. After reading, you may come away a little bit disgusted by the current state of things, but a little bit wiser as well. I wouldn’t recommend using all of the tactics described in this book, but I find it useful to understand the reality of marketing on the internet and what the competition may be up to.
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I just started reading this one, but I already know I’ll be recommending it. A no-nonsense guide to screenwriting whose principles can just as easily be applied to novel writing. If The Artist’s Way is too self indulgent for you, then Save the Cat will balance you out.
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Looking for some mentors in your creative life? This well researched work shares the daily work habits of writers, composers, artists and other creative types. Some are inspiring, some are just amusing, but this is always a fun book to grab when you want a little inspiration to break out of your routine and try something new.
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This book was first recommended to me by Cory Doctorow (journalist, and science fiction author who serves as co-editor of the blog Boing Boing), the most efficiently effective person I’ve ever met. Getting Things Done, commonly referred to as GTD, has spawned an entire culture of productivity tools and websites. This book replaced Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People on my go-to bookshelf and I reread it at least once a year. I recommend this book for writers because one of the most challenging parts of the craft is managing your time in a way that allows you to feel free and relaxed when it comes time to create.
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Published in 2009, when things like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube were still just gaining popularity, this book was the first of its kind to offer insight about the realities of being a writer in today’s literary landscape. It does a great job addressing the challenges of balancing self-promotion and the craft of writing with plenty of the author’s own creative insights as well as input from other working writers. Consider this book your insider’s guide to the world of writing as a career and getting published written by a friend who’s been in the trenches.
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“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my  brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy.  Just take it bird by bird.'” When faced with the task of writing a book, who hasn’t felt this immobilizing sense of hugeness from time to time? This anecdotal book is beautifully written and packed full of useful wisdom for creative types. Funny, honest, witty, and down-to-earth, this book is a classic.

There are many many more books on writing and creativity that I could recommend but I hope that this gives you a few new tools for your toolbox. What do you think? Are there books you would have put on this list? What inspires and informs you as a writer? I’d love to hear from you!

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by Rose O’Keefe, publisher and owner of Eraserhead Press. 

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Bizarro Fiction New Releases for 2015

Eraserhead Press has some awesome bizarro fiction books lined up for release in 2015, starting with three new titles from authors Carlton Mellick III, David W. Barbee and Garrett Cook. AVAILABLE NOW!

AS SHE STABBED ME GENTLY IN THE FACE by Carlton Mellick III

1621051749Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It’s the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel–a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana’s soul. He makes her a deal: if she promises to never kill another person again, he’ll become her eternal murder victim.

What at first seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana quickly devolves into a living nightmare when she discovers that Gabriel enjoys being killed by her just a little too much. He turns out to be obsessive, possessive, and paranoid that she might be murdering other men behind his back. And because he is unkillable, it’s not going to be easy for Oksana to get rid of him.

As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer’s affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Hungry Bug and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.

BUY NOW FROM: Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble

THE NIGHT’S NEON FANGS by David W. Barbee

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Presenting four novellas from bizarro author David W. Barbee, featuring electric werewolves, cyborg psychopaths, and a drunken ghost on a mission from God.

THE NIGHT’S NEON FANGS
On Christmas night, Buster Wade is cursed by the high voltage bite of an electric werewolf. With his life in shambles, he takes a job as the bodyguard for a grisly old miser looking to harness the bloodthirsty lightning coursing through his veins. Together, they travel a grotesque American monsterscape, sweeping up mummies that rain from the sky. Can Buster contain himself until he’s able to end his curse? Or will he sink his sizzling neon fangs into everyone around him?

NOAH’S ARKOPOLIS
Noah’s Ark never found land. The Lord God left him and all the animals alone on a planet of endless ocean. In the coming centuries, Noah’s simple boat became Arkopolis, a floating city where Noah’s human family and all the animals of the earth bred generations of mutant citizens. Now, that animal world is on the brink of war, and their only hope is the ghost of their righteous, noble, and falling-down-drunk founder, Noah.

THAT ULTIMO SUMBITCH
He roams the outback astride the meanest ostrich alive, a stone-cold killer with six-shooters for hands, on the hunt for wanted outlaws, reptiloid invaders, and scalp-hungry hippies. He has a name, but in this bionic, Bizarro western, they all call him that ultimo sumbitch.

BATCOP OUTTA HELL
All the people in Guano City are bats, and upholding the law are the crime-fighting batcops. But something is rotten in the caped crusaders’ ranks. A slain officer has returned from the pits of Hell to take revenge for his family’s unjust murder and rejoin the force. Now, the lovable misfits of Precinct 7 must help their fellow officer on his bloody rampage across Guano City, all for the glory of the Batdevil.

BUY NOW FROM: Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble

YOU MIGHT JUST MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE by Garrett Cook

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“Garrett Cook truly amazes me. His imagination is mind-blowing, his prose sings like the sweetest discombobulated sirens, and no matter how far out or strange his stories may get, he has the magical ability to make it all work.”
-Trent Zelazny, author of To Sleep Gently

“There’s no way to prepare, no way to protect yourself. Garrett Cook’s work has an edge…and it’s at your throat.”
-Robert Dunbar, Bram Stoker nominee, author of Martyrs and Monsters

“Garrett Cook and Jimmy Plush ain’t fluff. Raw and uncut, dealin’ out death to the offensive, they preach sledgehammer when they drop hardcore in hardboiled” -Joseph S. Pulver, Sr., Editor of A Season in Carcosa

“It is one thing to create a world. It is another thing to make it real. Cook’s impressive and highly ambitious novel does this admirably.” -Sean Keller, screenwriter Dario Argento’s Giallo

From the Wonderland Award winning author of Time Pimp and Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective comes a new collection of weird, horrifying, and heartfelt stories.

Featuring:
RE-MANCIPATOR
When zombie Abraham Lincolns start running amuck, John Wilkes Booth, Marilyn Monroe, and other greats from history must save the day!

DIESELPIG
The beloved Smiley the Pig is here to save us from the Catholic Church. And he’s brought a shit ton of guns!

BRIAN’S GIRL
A gorgeous woman arrives one day at a man’s door for anonymous sex. It’s not a dream come true- it’s the beginning of a cult that will change the world.

Plus fifteen more strange and beautiful tales.

BUY NOW FROM: Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble

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New Releases Winter 2014

Eraserhead Press is pleased to bring you three of the funnest bizarro fiction books of the season!

HUNGRY BUG by Carlton Mellick III
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From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits Satan Burger and Adolf in Wonderland, comes a gritty urban fantasy unlike anything you’ve read before.

In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell’s Bottom — a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires.

Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller’s Sin City and David Lapham’s Stray Bullets, Carlton Mellick III’s Hungry Bug is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic.
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PUS JUNKIES by Shane McKenzie

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Kip has the worst case of acne that anyone has ever seen. Zits cover his entire body; his skin is aflame with bright red, pus-filled sores. He has become an outcast in his school and the other kids call him Toad.

But what they don’t know is the pus leaking from Kip’s acne is actually a powerful narcotic that produces strong psychedelic effects. Soon, everyone in school will want a taste of his hallucinogenic cream and this former-loser will become the most popular kid in school. But once you lick the Toad, there’s no going back to normal drugs. His classmates just can’t get enough. And as their addiction grows, they will stop at nothing to get it…

In the spirit of Street Trash and Class of Nukem’ High comes a novel about growing up, finding yourself, and tripping on bodily fluids. Shane McKenzie and Eraserhead Press present a bizarro high school drama drenched in Technicolor-splatter!

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BIGFOOT COP by Kevin Shamel

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He’s huge. He’s hairy. He’s pissed off and he’s got a badge. He’s Bigfoot Cop.

Bigfoot is a renegade detective on the edge. He’s no longer the tranquil solitary creature of legend; he’s now a foot-stomping, car-flipping crime fighter who can’t stop ripping everyone’s fucking arms off when he gets mad.

After he destroys an entire city block while trying to apprehend a group of petty criminals, the police chief transfers him to Missing Persons and assigns him a new partner he doesn’t want – Lyle Straits, a crotchety by-the-book detective who is allergic to animal dander. The unlikely duo is tasked with solving the rising number of local disappearances (mostly redheads). But what starts as a routine investigation turns into the biggest case the world has ever seen.

From the author of Island of the Super People and Rotten Little Animals comes a buddy-cop comedy for the bizarro fiction reader.

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